Okay Deadpool, what’s going on here? You and Death were so perfect for each other!
One day, Dracula decided to hire someone to bring Shiklah, Queen of the Undead, to him so he could marry her and unite his faction with her underground monsters. You see, before humans came to be, Shiklah and her family ruled over the monster world. This ticked off the neighbouring vampires who sought to dominate them, and so, a war ensued that lasted centuries. The monster family got overwhelmed and as a result, Shiklah’s father sealed her away in a coffin until the war ended, or until someone took her hand in marriage. Mmmkay that’s quite extreme.
Anyway, Dracula decided he would be the one to marry Shiklah. So, who do you call when you need to retrieve a several thousand-or-more-year-old coffin containing the Queen of the Undead? DEADPOOOOL!
In a timely matter, Deadpool travelled to Arabian Peninsula and retrieved the coffin before a faction of teleporting vampires – mmkay that is quite extreme – managed to destroy it.
||The magic starts||
The Merc with a Mouth brought the coffin to Greece and got into a fight with the Minotaur, a weird creature that rears its head in the Marvel Universe from time to time. This however, resulted in the coffin shattering in mid-battle, awaking Shiklah and her pet, Bug.
The Queen then decided to repay Deadpool’s heroic service by kissing him and absorbing his life force. Deadpool died and joined Death in lovebird heaven where they lived happily ever after.
Well, after Deadpool failed to die, (he can heal himself ladies and gentlemen) Shiklah looked upon him with renewed interest, and together they hopped on a train to Paris. On the way, Blade the Vampire Hunter was like, “Nuh uh mister, you have to give her up because she’s a monster,” and Deadpool responded with, “but I dig that.” The two fought, and with the help of Shiklah, they defeated Blade.
The two then, sigh, start falling head over heels for each other. They take to the streets of Paris, visit museums, while Deadpool explains to her what a smartphone is, and even goes as far as saying he hasn’t enjoyed someone else’s company this much without killing a person. They discuss immortality, and Shiklah explains how difficult it is to watch loved ones around her age. Deadpool responds by saying he can’t die. He even gets jealous when she incapacitates an A.I.M agent by kissing him. She, however, loves the fact that he gets jealous, and becomes increasingly enamoured with him. They got married didn’t they?
Gosh darn it. Yes, the two get married, resulting in one of the largest gatherings of super heroes and super villains, ever.
All right, Shiklah isn’t all that bad, but … but, Deadpool and Death were beautiful together. This is just temporary right? Like Ross marrying another woman here and there but ultimately discovering Rachel is his soul mate? Right? RIGHT?