Entry #18, March 31

Eleanor's Blog


I may have gone too far, and scratched Tree One across the eye.

I may also feel bad about it.

It was a complete accident, and even if it wasn’t it’s not my fault. I think she’s forgiven me though, because she’s back to patting me on the head and loving me even when I bite cables and scratch walls.

It seems to be a pattern now. My workout. Eat, sleep, wake up, be cuddly, then to finish the day off I scratch walls and bite cables.

I love it. The Trees have for the most part accepted this routine, but they occasionally show their distaste for my actions with the spray bottle. If the spray bottle isn’t available they turn to arm waving and yelling, which is hilarious to watch by the way so I welcome these situations with open arms.

I do realize I go too far sometimes, proven by the scar currently under Tree One’s eye.

But then we just move on from little incidents like that because I’m adorable and nothing can actually stop me.


Entry #11, Jan. 11

Eleanor's Blog


After playing fetch all afternoon with Tree One and Two, I had to take an extended break on my moon chair. I have a lot of toys, but I think my favourite has to be the occasional sock that gets left on the ground.

When one of these beauties are in my possession, it’s game time. This activity involves me bringing the sock over, dropping it in front of Tree One or Two, and waiting for either of them to throw it. It’s an excellent work out. I often jump over things to make it more exciting, and I’ve gained the ability to soar over pretty much anything now.

Ever since the cone got taken off my head – which was probably the most delightful thing that’s ever happened to me – I’ve noticed I haven’t been as much of a scum bag. Aside from the playful scratch here, and knocking over of something there, I have definitely simmered down. Bizarre. I wonder why this is so, because I still enjoy it when they get mad, but recently I’ve certainly been appreciative of … their company I guess.

I’ve just wanted them to pet me, and play fetch with me. I think I’m still reveling in the fact that I’m no longer bound by that ridiculous contraption on my head. Now I can move freely, play normally, and CLEAN MYSELF. How good it feels to be able to do that again.

I don’t think it’ll be much longer until I get a little bored of that, and return to doing what I do best as a result.


Entry #4, Dec. 8

Eleanor's Blog


Tree One and Two each go under a stream of water on a regular basis, and it confuses me greatly because whenever I get sprayed with water it’s usually because I’m being punished. Are they punishing themselves during these scenarios? I often watch from a safe distance when they step under the water, but it still confuses me when it happens. Personally I would never do such a thing, the water they squirt in my face is enough – I like water, but I have my limits – so I make sure to give them their space during these instances, and avoid biting them for a while until I think they’ve completed their bizarre ritual for the day. If they’re cleaning themselves, why don’t they just lick the parts they need clean? That’s what I do and it works just fine. In fact, I lick them from time to time to show them how it’s done but they haven’t caught on yet.

I’ve been biting Tree One more frequently – Tree Two doesn’t seem to care as much when I bite him so I don’t bother sometimes – while knocking things off of the table, and just being a nuisance at all times. The urge to frustrate the two still rages on inside of me. I hope they understand that despite my efforts to anger them, I appreciate the food they provide me, alongside the pen in which I currently reside in. I simply can’t help causing trouble, their reactions are worth it. They are obviously so much more powerful than I am, and watching them express their feelings through a pathetic spray bottle and an occasional finger wag is hilarious.

Ahhh moon chair, how I’ve missed you. Come to me.



Entry #2 – Dec. 3, 2013

Eleanor's Blog


This morning I knocked a box out of the refrigerator and watched Tree Two clean up the spill. It was amusing, but what excited me the most were the bits of food I managed to nibble on despite Tree Two’s mediocre efforts to stop me. It tasted nothing like the food they feed me on a regular basis. I hope they spill something again soon, this one was a long time coming.

I made sure to bite Tree One several times prior to her departure for the day. It turned out to be a fulfilling altercation, as she kept me at bay while attempting to get ready. The rest of the day so far has been quiet, and I spent most of it sleeping in the moon chair. It’s my go-to chair, wasn’t feeling the other ones today.

Trees better not take much longer to get home. Need my refrigerator fix.

My cat Eleanor’s first blog post

Eleanor's Blog


When I came home today, I discovered my cat started to write a series of journal entries on my laptop during my absence, and because I’m a jerk – and I’d like to get back at her for scratching me a butt-load of times – I have posted them on my blog for everyone to see. Here is the first of many I hope.

Eleanor’s Entry # 1, December 2

Now that I’ve grown, I’m happy to say I’ve gained the ability to keep track of my complex existence on this warm machine the two two-legged creatures with the pink complexions – I will call them Tree One and Tree Two because I love climbing them – use so frequently. The two seem nice enough, and I enjoy their company, but I will get to them later.

My name is Eleanor. It is the one thing I have accepted in my life. I am a few months old now, and it’s been a fascinating journey so far to say the least. I reside in a large playpen, embellished with countless hiding spots and objects to crawl under. It’s much larger than the area I remember being born in. I’m always craving a good  climb, scratch on the head, or trip inside the refrigerator.

At times, I am forcibly removed and transported to an even larger pen somewhere else. During these instances I am very confused and disoriented, but upon arrival, I revel in the opportunity to bulldoze over a cat who lives there. This cat is bigger than me, but strangely has no claws at all! What a stroke of luck. The only gripe I have about that place is the large dog inhabiting a significant portion of the pen. There’s something about her, I just don’t like. She pretends to be nice, but I don’t buy it. She knows to stay away from me.

However, a majority of my time is spent in the pen I’m in right now. I shall call it My Pen. As I mentioned before, Tree One and Two are my friends. They are a peculiar bunch, and will be a central focus of my first entry here today. When they’re not outside, they go about their daily lives talking to each other, eating, watching things on a machine similar to the one I’m using right now, and at times they argue. I think they do anyway, they raise their voice and seem upset. I often sit calmly somewhere and watch in confusion during these situations, but they resolve themselves, and are regularly accompanied by a strange embrace and a kiss. That’s what they call it when I lick their faces, and this lip touching sequence they partake in appears to be very similar, so a kiss is what I’ll call it. They seem to be happy, and I hope this doesn’t change. I enjoy watching them be content.

I haven’t been around many of these Trees before, but these ones are highly amusing and love to pet me. They try to tell me not to do certain things which I completely understand, however there is something about their reactions to my disobedience I can’t get enough of. They become highly agitated when they realize something appears to be out of their control, and I have become addicted to being the cause of their occasional frustration. It’s something I will continue to do as long as I can. I must admit though, I sincerely take pleasure in their company and love being picked up off the ground. When I feel like being picked up of course. If they misread the situation, I bite them.

I have a long day ahead of me, so I should get some rest before the Trees come home. I hope they clean my water because I dropped a lot of my food in it. If they don’t, I will try and throw up on the ground while they sleep. They don’t seem to like waking up in the middle of the night.

Until next time warm machine. Until next time.